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Friday, February 24, 2012

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes - Scandal in Bohemia (Part 2) | Polymerize

At  three o’clock precisely I was at Baker Street, but Holmes had not yet returned.  The landlady in- formed me that he had left the house shortly  after eight o’clock in the morning.  I sat down beside the fire, however, with the intention of awaiting him, however long he might be. I was already deeply in- terested in his inquiry, for, though it was surrounded by none of the grim and strange features which were associated with the two crimes which I have already recorded, still, the nature of the case and the exalted station of his client gave it  a character of its own.
Indeed, apart from the nature of the investigation which my friend had on hand, there was something in his masterly grasp of a situation, and his keen, in- cisive reasoning, which made it a pleasure to me to study his system of work,  and to follow  the quick, subtle methods by which he disentangled the most inextricable mysteries.  So accustomed was I to his invariable success that the very possibility of his fail- ing had ceased to enter into my head.
It was close upon four  before the door opened, and a drunken-looking groom, ill-kempt  and side- whiskered, with  an inflamed  face and disreputable clothes, walked into the room. Accustomed as I was to my  friend’s  amazing powers in  the use of dis- guises, I had to look three times before I was cer- tain that it was indeed he. With a nod he vanished into the bedroom, whence he emerged in five min- utes tweed-suited and respectable, as of old. Putting his hands into his pockets, he stretched out his legs in front of the fire and laughed heartily for some min- utes.
“Well,  really!”  he cried, and then he choked and laughed again until  he was obliged to lie back, limp and helpless, in the chair.
“What is it?”

“It’s  quite too funny.  I am sure you could never guess how I employed my morning, or what I ended by doing.”
“I can’t imagine.  I suppose that you have been watching the habits, and perhaps the house, of Miss Irene Adler.”
“Quite  so; but the sequel was rather unusual.  I will  tell  you, however.   I left the house a little  af- ter eight o’clock this morning  in the character of a groom out of work.   There is a wonderful  sympa- thy and freemasonry among horsey men. Be one of them, and you will  know all that there is to know.  I soon found Briony Lodge.  It is a bijou villa,  with  a garden at the back, but built out in front right up to the road, two stories. Chubb lock to the door. Large sitting-room  on the right  side, well furnished, with long windows  almost to the floor, and those prepos- terous English window fasteners which a child could open.  Behind there was nothing remarkable, save that the passage window could be reached from the top of the coach-house. I walked round it and exam- ined it closely from every point of view, but without noting anything else of interest.
“I then lounged down the street and found, as I expected, that there was a mews in a lane which runs down  by one wall  of the garden.  I lent the ostlers a hand in rubbing  down their horses, and received in exchange twopence, a glass of half and half, two fills  of shag tobacco, and as much information  as I could desire about Miss Adler, to say nothing of half a dozen other people in the neighbourhood in whom I was not in the least interested, but whose biogra- phies I was compelled to listen to.”
“And what of Irene Adler?” I asked.
“Oh, she has turned all the men’s heads down in that part.  She is the daintiest thing under a bonnet on this planet. So say the Serpentine-mews, to a man. She lives quietly, sings at concerts, drives out at five every day, and returns at seven sharp for dinner. Sel- dom goes out at other times, except when she sings. Has only one male visitor,  but a good deal of him. He is dark, handsome, and dashing, never calls less than once a day, and often twice. He is a Mr. Godfrey Norton, of the Inner Temple. See the advantages of a cabman as a confidant. They had driven him home a dozen times from Serpentine-mews, and knew all about him.  When I had listened to all they had to tell, I began to walk up and down near Briony Lodge once more, and to think over my plan of campaign.
“This  Godfrey Norton  was evidently  an impor- tant factor in  the matter.   He was a lawyer.   That

sounded ominous.  What was the relation between them, and what the object of his repeated visits? Was she his client, his friend, or his mistress?  If the for- mer, she had probably transferred the photograph to his keeping. If the latter, it was less likely.  On the is- sue of this question depended whether I should con- tinue my work at Briony Lodge, or turn my attention to the gentleman’s chambers in the Temple.  It was a delicate point, and it widened the field of my in- quiry.  I fear that I bore you with  these details, but I have to let you see my little difficulties,  if you are to understand the situation.”

“I am following you closely,” I answered.

“I was still balancing the matter in my mind when a hansom cab drove up to Briony Lodge, and a gen- tleman sprang out. He was a remarkably handsome man, dark, aquiline, and moustached—evidently the man of whom  I had heard.  He appeared to be in a great hurry,  shouted to the cabman to wait,  and brushed past the maid who opened the door with the air of a man who was thoroughly at home.

“He  was in the house about half an hour, and I could catch glimpses of him in the windows  of the sitting-room, pacing up and down, talking excitedly, and waving  his arms.  Of her I could see nothing. Presently he emerged, looking even more flurried than before. As he stepped up to the cab, he pulled a gold watch from his pocket and looked at it earnestly,
‘Drive  like the devil,’  he shouted, ‘first  to Gross & Hankey’s in Regent Street, and then to the Church of St. Monica in the Edgeware Road. Half a guinea if you do it in twenty minutes!’

“Away they went, and I was just wondering whether I should not do well to follow  them when up the lane came a neat little  landau, the coachman with  his coat only half-buttoned, and his tie under his ear, while all the tags of his harness were stick- ing out of the buckles. It hadn’t pulled up before she shot out of the hall door and into it. I only caught a glimpse of her at the moment, but she was a lovely woman, with a face that a man might die for.

“ ‘The Church of St. Monica, John,’ she cried, ‘and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.’

“This was quite too good to lose, Watson. I was just balancing whether I should run for it, or whether I should perch behind her landau when a cab came through the street. The driver  looked twice at such a shabby fare, but I jumped in before he could ob- ject. ‘The Church of St. Monica,’ said I, ‘and half a sovereign if you reach it in twenty minutes.’  It was

twenty-five  minutes to twelve, and of course it was clear enough what was in the wind.
“My  cabby drove fast. I don’t think  I ever drove faster, but the others were there before us. The cab and the landau with  their steaming horses were in front  of the door when I arrived.   I paid the man and hurried  into the church.  There was not a soul there save the two whom I had followed  and a sur- pliced clergyman, who seemed to be expostulating with  them.  They were all three standing in a knot in front of the altar. I lounged up the side aisle like any other idler who has dropped into a church. Sud- denly, to my surprise, the three at the altar faced round to me, and Godfrey Norton  came running  as hard as he could towards me.
“ ‘Thank  God,’  he cried.    ‘You’ll   do.    Come! Come!’
“ ‘What then?’ I asked.
“ ‘Come, man, come, only  three minutes,  or it won’t be legal.’
“I was half-dragged up to the altar, and before I knew where I was I found myself mumbling  re- sponses which were whispered in my ear, and vouch- ing for things of which I knew nothing, and generally assisting in the secure tying up of Irene Adler, spin- ster, to Godfrey Norton, bachelor. It was all done in an instant, and there was the gentleman thanking me on the one side and the lady on the other, while the clergyman beamed on me in front.  It was the most preposterous position in which I ever found myself in my life, and it was the thought of it that started me laughing just now.  It seems that there had been some informality about their  license, that the cler- gyman absolutely refused to marry them without  a witness of some sort, and that my lucky appearance saved the bridegroom from having to sally out into the streets in search of a best man. The bride gave me a sovereign, and I mean to wear it on my watch-chain in memory of the occasion.”
“This is a very unexpected turn of affairs,” said I; “and what then?”
“Well,  I found my plans very seriously menaced. It looked as if the pair might take an immediate de- parture,  and so necessitate very prompt  and ener- getic measures on my part. At the church door, how- ever, they separated, he driving  back to the Temple, and she to her own house. ‘I shall drive out in the park at five as usual,’ she said as she left him. I heard no more.  They drove away in different  directions, and I went off to make my own arrangements.”
“Which are?”

“Some cold  beef and  a glass of  beer,”  he an- swered, ringing  the bell.  “I have been too busy to think  of food, and I am likely  to be busier still this evening.  By the way, Doctor, I shall want your co- operation.”
“I shall be delighted.”
“You don’t mind breaking the law?” “Not  in the least.”
“Nor  running a chance of arrest?” “Not  in a good cause.”
“Oh, the cause is excellent!” “Then I am your man.”
“I was sure that I might rely on you.” “But what is it you wish?”
“When Mrs. Turner has brought in the tray I will make it clear to you.   Now,”  he said as he turned hungrily  on the simple fare that our landlady  had provided,  “I must discuss it while  I eat, for I have not much time.  It is nearly five now.  In two hours we must be on the scene of action.  Miss Irene, or Madame, rather, returns from her drive at seven. We must be at Briony Lodge to meet her.”
“And what then?”
“You  must leave that to me.  I have already ar- ranged what is to occur. There is only one point on which  I must insist.  You must not interfere, come what may. You understand?”
“I am to be neutral?”
“To  do nothing  whatever.   There will  probably be some small unpleasantness. Do not join in it.  It will  end in my being conveyed into the house. Four or five minutes afterwards the sitting-room  window will  open.  You are to station yourself close to that open window.”
“Yes.”
“You are to watch me, for I will be visible to you.” “Yes.”
“And when I raise my hand—so—you will  throw into the room what I give you to throw, and will,  at the same time, raise the cry of fire. You quite follow me?”
“Entirely.”
“It is nothing very formidable,”  he said, taking a long cigar-shaped roll from his pocket. “It is an or- dinary plumber ’s smoke-rocket, fitted with  a cap at either end to make it self-lighting.  Your task is con- fined to that. When you raise your cry of fire, it will be taken up by quite a number of people. You may then walk to the end of the street, and I will  rejoin

you in ten minutes. I hope that I have made myself clear?”
“I am to remain neutral, to get near the window, to watch you, and at the signal to throw  in this ob- ject, then to raise the cry of fire, and to wait you at the corner of the street.“
“Precisely.”
“Then you may entirely rely on me.”
“That  is excellent.  I think,  perhaps, it is almost time that I prepare for the new role I have to play.”
He disappeared into his bedroom and returned in  a few  minutes  in  the character of  an amiable and simple-minded  Nonconformist  clergyman.  His broad black hat, his baggy trousers, his white  tie, his sympathetic smile, and general look of peering and benevolent curiosity were such as Mr. John Hare alone could have equalled.  It was not merely that Holmes changed his costume.  His expression, his manner, his very  soul seemed to vary  with  every fresh part that he assumed. The stage lost a fine ac- tor, even as science lost an acute reasoner, when he became a specialist in crime.
It was a quarter past six when we left Baker Street, and it  still  wanted ten minutes to the hour when we found ourselves in Serpentine Avenue.  It was already dusk, and the lamps were just being lighted as we paced up and down in front of Briony Lodge, waiting  for the coming of its occupant. The house was just such as I had pictured it from Sher- lock Holmes’  succinct description,  but  the locality appeared to be less private than I expected. On the contrary, for a small street in a quiet neighbourhood, it was remarkably animated.  There was a group of shabbily dressed men smoking and laughing in a cor- ner, a scissors-grinder with  his wheel, two guards- men who were flirting with a nurse-girl, and several well-dressed young men who were lounging up and down with cigars in their mouths.
“You see,” remarked Holmes, as we paced to and fro in front of the house, “this  marriage rather sim- plifies matters.  The photograph becomes a double- edged weapon now. The chances are that she would be as averse to its being seen by Mr. Godfrey Nor- ton, as our client is to its coming to the eyes of his princess. Now the question is, Where are we to find the photograph?”
“Where, indeed?”
“It is most unlikely  that she carries it about with her. It is cabinet size. Too large for easy concealment about a woman’s dress. She knows that the King is

capable of having her waylaid and searched. Two at- tempts of the sort have already been made. We may take it, then, that she does not carry it about with her.”
“Where, then?”
“Her  banker or her lawyer.   There is that dou- ble possibility.   But I am inclined to think neither. Women are naturally  secretive, and they like to do their own secreting.  Why should she hand it over to anyone else? She could trust her own guardian- ship, but she could not tell what indirect or political influence might be brought to bear upon a business man. Besides, remember that she had resolved to use it within  a few days. It must be where she can lay her hands upon it. It must be in her own house.”
“But it has twice been burgled.”
“Pshaw! They did not know how to look.” “But how will  you look?”
“I will  not look.” “What then?”
“I will  get her to show me.” “But she will  refuse.”
“She will  not be able to. But I hear the rumble of wheels. It is her carriage. Now carry out my orders to the letter.”
As he spoke the gleam of the side-lights of a car- riage came round  the curve of the avenue.  It was a smart little landau which rattled up to the door of Briony Lodge. As it pulled up, one of the loafing men at the corner dashed forward to open the door in the hope of earning a copper, but was elbowed away by another loafer, who had rushed up with the same intention.  A fierce quarrel broke out, which was in- creased by the two guardsmen, who took sides with one of the loungers, and by the scissors-grinder, who was equally hot upon the other side.  A blow  was struck, and in an instant the lady, who had stepped from her carriage, was the centre of a little  knot of flushed and struggling men, who struck savagely at each other with their fists and sticks. Holmes dashed into  the crowd  to protect the lady;  but  just as he reached her he gave a cry and dropped to the ground, with  the blood running  freely down his face. At his fall the guardsmen took to their heels in one direc- tion and the loungers in the other, while  a number of better-dressed people, who had watched the scuf- fle without  taking part in it, crowded in to help the lady and to attend to the injured man. Irene Adler, as I will  still call her, had hurried  up the steps; but she stood at the top with her superb figure outlined

against the lights of the hall, looking  back into the street.
“Is the poor gentleman much hurt?” she asked. “He is dead,” cried several voices.
“No,  no, there’s life  in  him!”  shouted another. “But  he’ll  be gone before you can get him  to hos- pital.”
“He’s  a brave fellow,” said a woman.    “They would  have had the lady’s  purse and watch  if  it hadn’t been for him. They were a gang, and a rough one, too. Ah, he’s breathing now.”
“He can’t lie in the street. May we bring him in, marm?“
“Surely. Bring him into the sitting-room.  There is a comfortable sofa. This way, please!“
Slowly  and solemnly he was borne into  Briony Lodge and laid  out in the principal  room, while  I still observed the proceedings from my post by the window.  The lamps had been lit, but the blinds had not been drawn,  so that I could see Holmes as he lay upon the couch. I do not know whether he was seized with compunction at that moment for the part he was playing,  but I know  that I never felt more heartily  ashamed of myself in my life than when I saw the beautiful creature against whom I was con- spiring, or the grace and kindliness with  which she waited upon the injured man.  And yet it would  be the blackest treachery to Holmes to draw back now from the part which he had intrusted to me. I hard- ened my heart, and took the smoke-rocket from un- der my ulster. After all, I thought, we are not injuring her. We are but preventing her from injuring another.
Holmes had sat up upon the couch, and I saw him motion like a man who is in need of air. A maid rushed across and threw open the window.   At the same instant I saw him raise his hand and at the sig- nal I tossed my rocket into the room with  a cry of “Fire!”  The word  was no sooner out of my mouth than the whole crowd of spectators, well dressed and ill—gentlemen, ostlers, and servant-maids—joined in a general shriek of “Fire!”  Thick clouds of smoke curled through  the room and out at the open win- dow.   I caught a glimpse of rushing figures, and a moment later the voice of Holmes from within  assur- ing them that it was a false alarm. Slipping through the shouting crowd I made my way to the corner of the street, and in ten minutes was rejoiced to find my friend’s arm in mine, and to get away from the scene of uproar. He walked swiftly  and in silence for some few minutes until  we had turned down  one of the quiet streets which lead towards the Edgeware Road.

“You did it very nicely, Doctor,” he remarked. “Nothing could have been better. It is all right.”
“You have the photograph?” “I know where it is.”
“And how did you find out?”
“She showed me, as I told you she would.” “I am still in the dark.”
“I do not wish to make a mystery,” said he, laugh- ing.   “The matter was perfectly simple.   You, of course, saw that everyone in the street was an ac- complice. They were all engaged for the evening.”
“I guessed as much.”
“Then,  when  the row  broke out,  I had a little moist red paint in the palm of my hand.  I rushed forward, fell down, clapped my hand to my face, and became a piteous spectacle. It is an old trick.”
“That also I could fathom.”
“Then they carried me in. She was bound to have me in. What else could she do? And into her sitting- room, which was the very room which I suspected. It lay between that and her bedroom, and I was de- termined to see which.  They laid me on a couch, I motioned for air, they were compelled to open the window,  and you had your chance.”
“How did that help you?”
“It was all-important.  When a woman thinks that her house is on fire, her instinct is at once to rush to the thing which she values most. It is a perfectly overpowering  impulse, and I have more than once taken advantage of it.  In the case of the Darlington substitution scandal it was of use to me, and also in the Arnsworth  Castle business. A married woman grabs at her baby; an unmarried one reaches for her jewel-box.  Now  it was clear to me that our lady of to-day had nothing in the house more precious to her than what we are in quest of. She would  rush to se- cure it.  The alarm of fire was admirably  done. The smoke and shouting were enough to shake nerves of steel. She responded beautifully.  The photograph is in a recess behind a sliding panel just above the right bell-pull.   She was there in an instant, and I caught a glimpse of it as she half-drew it out. When I cried out that it was a false alarm, she replaced it, glanced at the rocket, rushed from the room, and I have not seen her since. I rose, and, making my excuses, es- caped from the house. I hesitated whether to attempt to secure the photograph at once; but the coachman had come in, and as he was watching me narrowly it seemed safer to wait.  A little  over-precipitance may ruin all.”
“And now?” I asked.

“Our quest is practically finished. I shall call with the King  to-morrow,  and with  you,  if  you care to come with us. We will be shown into the sitting-room to wait for the lady, but it is probable that when she comes she may find neither us nor the photograph. It might be a satisfaction to his Majesty to regain it with his own hands.”

“And when will  you call?”

“At  eight in the morning.  She will  not be up, so that we shall have a clear field.   Besides, we must be prompt,  for this marriage may mean a complete

change in her life and habits. I must wire to the King without  delay.”
We had reached Baker Street and had stopped at the door.  He was searching his pockets for the key when someone passing said:
“Good-night,  Mister Sherlock Holmes.”
There were several people on the pavement at the time, but the greeting appeared to come from a slim youth in an ulster who had hurried by.
“I’ve  heard that voice before,” said Holmes, star- ing down the dimly  lit street. “Now, I wonder who the deuce that could have been.”



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